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imaromantic
Posts:1
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| 02/06/2009 1:17 PM |
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| Ladies...help. My husband refuses to help me with housework and everytime I try to bring it up and tell him i need his help, he starts ranting on and on that we need a maid! We don't have the money for a maid! I am overworked and we don't even have kids yet! The "bedroom" stuff is suffering because I feel I am on "serve" overload and I don't have anything left to give after cooking every meal, picking up after both of us etc.....I'm just so angry and upset. Any of you delt with this??? |
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Julie Fidler
Posts:172
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| 02/08/2009 4:49 PM |
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| Do you also work? |
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brokenhearted01
Posts:3
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| 03/10/2009 10:10 PM |
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| I know how u feel. and i made the mistake of not doing his laundry or cleanning up after him, but i'd clean up after me and my kids and all it did was push him away... Now i do the work as though it is unto GOD. I'm praying the hole time for God to give me grace for my husband and how I can learn through all this crazyness! God does have a reason don't know what yet but i'm finding pride in my house work and haveing a clean house and things put up and a peace knowing its done. Do it as though u ere doing it unto God |
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type5
Posts:13
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smily6184
Posts:4
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| 05/11/2009 2:50 PM |
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| I get carried away cleaning and cooking and doing laundry. My husband can tell when I'm stressed. He just pulls me into his arms and says "I don't care if the house is perfect. Just be with me right now." Sometimes I need to be reminded that having a perfect house is not the most important thing in the world. My husband didn't marry me so that I can be his maid. He married me so I can be his wife. |
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PJohns
Posts:3
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| 05/16/2009 10:11 PM |
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Wow, I wish I could give you some good advice. My husband is the same way. He was actually raised that a clean house is a sign of someone who takes life too seriously. Growing up I came from a house where between my siblings and me, we cleaned the whole house top to bottom (including dusting) every day. That was our chores.
He also said we should get a maid, though we can't afford it (and *I* know because I do all the bills and balance the budget). I work very long hours to make ends meet, so it's tough to keep the house together. My house is not what I'd like, but I've come to peace with things and offer the following tidbits:
Some advice I was given, but didn't work:
1. Several older ladies in the church said leave it and let it get bad. After a while he won't be able to stand it and will realize he needs to help me. Well, roaches and mice later he still thought keeping a clean house was not important. So that didn't work.
2. Doing all the cleaning myself "grin and bear it." Resulted in minimal sleep each night, leading to poor performance on the job, and constant cooking and cleaning from the time I got home til the time I fell into bed. So that didn't work.
Some things that have helped:
1. I make every effort to keep my baby's room clean and healthy. Then the
kitchen is my next priority. I have a formal living room that is
usually kept nice, or can be quickly straightened for pop-up guests,
but I've come to peace with the fact that the rest of the house will be
catch-as-catch-can. And it's usually trashed. If I have any time
after work, dinner, and notional clean up, I work on the room of the
week (which sometimes is the room of the month), sorting, filing,
throwing things away, vacuuming, mopping etc. I got the idea from
flylady.com, but didn't have the time to follow her schedule. Mine is much slower. She gets a
lot more done in a day than I do.
2. Every so often, letting someone "twist my arm" into hosting a ladies
event or house someone during a revival. This forces him to help me
give the house a thorough cleaning. I can only pull this card about
twice a year, though, because it upsets him that I put him in that
position. I counter that I can't always keep saying no, ladies don't
work that way, and I have to "build relationships" with the other
ladies of the church by helping out once in awhile. He grumbles, but
for at least 2x a year my house is clean from top to bottom.
HTH,
PJ
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