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Tiffany
Posts:29
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| 05/19/2009 1:39 AM |
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We recently ran into a friend at a party that we hadn't seen in about 6 years. We asked the typical "what's been going on?" question. He told us about an out of state trip that he & his wife went on with 2 other couples. He said they guys went to a strip bar. That's ALL he told us about the trip. We don't know why they went or what else the did or saw. He also told us about a guy's weekend trip that was "a blast" because they watched porn vidoes.
I seems I hear a lot about how many or maybe even most men are "secretive" about their porn addiction. Are the others bragging??? What is there to brag about. Is this confirmation to them that they are "REAL MEN" because they like porn? |
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Beauchamp
Posts:4
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| 06/12/2009 1:37 PM |
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Hi, Tiffany. Speaking as a man, I can tell you that insecure men will sometimes brag about watching porn the same way schoolboys will brag about having "scored" with a girl. It implies that the man doing the bragging is unafraid of the female sex.
Within many men (myself included), there is, at some level, a primitive, irrational fear of women. Specifically, a fear of the sexual power they have over men. Every man knows how a smile from a pretty woman can undo his strong manly composure in the blink of an eye--even if he manages to keep it relatively hidden from view--and, over time, potentially lead him to do all sorts of unwise things.
For the most part, of course, men retain their composure and remain civil members of society and faithful husbands or boyfriends. But it never comes naturally. It is always a choice, no matter how instantaneously a man may make it. That's part of the reason God made adultery a sin. Because he knew the sinful impulse was something that men, though they can bring it under control, will never be completely free of.
Women can sometimes find this notion of their power over men hard to grasp since men have a such an obvious PHYSICAL power over women by virtue of their generally larger physiques and capacity for aggression. But a woman's beauty is the one thing a man's muscles and stoicism provide no advantage over. Indeed, a woman's face is capable of launching a thousand ships...
All of which means that when a man brags about his "conquests," whether real or passively viewed, he is just engaging in another form of chest-beating. No thousand ships will be launched today! Particularly insecure men will brag about merely watching pictures of women, as if it were some sort of indication of their power over the women in the pictures. It is sad and unfortunate, and bespeaks a very undeveloped view of what constitutes a "real man." |
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john
Posts:13
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| 09/07/2011 6:03 PM |
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Its perversion.
something that is meant for pure intentions twisted into a delusional and demented idea or act
This is dangerous. Its one thing to fall into sin this way and your conscience is screaming at you that there is something terribly wrong here. It is entirely another to boast with bravado about this act. This is seriously a few steps from the same mindset that a serial rapist or serial murderer tends to develop, its serious.
For instance, say a person gets in a fight and end up killing a person, the person hits the ground too hard and suffers brain trauma, innocent mistake but still killed him. A normal person would feel guilty and remorse, a lot of people would feel that they cant live with this mistake
If a person does this and doesnt feel anything or even laughs and thinks its funny, they have progressed to a whole different type of person here. big problem. It wont be hard to move up a level, not hard at all.
Same with porn, it is the gateway to hell. we have a nation that is teaching young men and boys that consuming porn is not a big deal, you will never see these women so you never have to feel guilty, besides "I personally am not harming anyone". That mentality is passed along to girls that he dates and later maybe a wife or two or three... Because there is no direct consequence to this consuming, and the fact that it is seen as a product makes it no problem to move up to more perverse things concerning this "consumption", its like drugs, when one type can no longer do it for you, you upgrade, once you have out paced the most extreme drug there is none left. but its not this way with porn, if its that bad, they just move into the real thing.
No wonder why we have Ted Bundy and other serial killers, you have rape and molestation going on like you wouldnt believe. Most have admitted to having some heavy involvement with this "consumption" early on in life and through out all of their adulthood
the bottom line is our american culture is way to careless and soft on this subject and that is going to bite us later....
If I had a father discipline me, say if he caught me looking at something as a young boy, I would know early on that this is a terrible thing, not having to stumble in confusion as a young adult and have to re-think everything I thought I knew about what sex was supposed to be.
VERY SCARY |
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Angela
Posts:7
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| 09/10/2011 6:17 PM |
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| I agree with you john with what you've stated, it is a sin, and it takes away what God so divinely gave man to cherish with a woman, alone. The more a man allows himself to believe he is okay because he's not cheating, the more he is lying to himself, dishonoring God and hurting his wife. He is also following the ways of the flesh which is the easier path, as Jesus said, and very few will enter the gates of Heaven. Those that TRUELY love Christ will do their best to follow him, because they love him. Jesus said, "Why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord' and do not do the things which I say?" Jesus goes on to say he does not know you and you will not be written in the book of life. It is better to repent and stay away from sin. Matthew 18 says better to cut off your arm or gouge your eye if it causes you to sin (so we must do our best to avoid it at all costs). |
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Mary Grace
Posts:1
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| 04/17/2012 6:04 PM |
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Thank you, Beauchamp and Shaunti for your brutally honest comments about men's God-given sexual drive. I remember when I read your book, For Women Only, I wanted to throw it across the room when I read the part about men being a visual rolodex. Recently, you shared something about a woman's role in this - dressing provocatively, etc. and I appreciate that head's up.
God bless all the men who are pursuing Christ and working hard to maintain self-control. I just have to say that I find self-control one of the sexiest traits a man can have! :-) |
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