Shaunti Feldhahn

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Subject: He's in TX. I am not.
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JennUser is Offline

Posts:1
01/31/2010 9:37 PM  
Hi! I am 27 and currently live in Arizona. My boyfriend currently lives in TX. We have been in this relationship for almost 6 months. We have been friends of the family for almost 10yrs.

I am seeking advice on providing the communications and fulfilling his emotional needs while we are apart.

When we started our relationship I had 3years of emotional recovery from my 'life experiences' and a little Seminary as well. He on the other hand did not. He was a new believer and all he heard from me was what he was doing wrong. He has since (on his own) picked a church, started an emotional recovery program and is taking extra classes at his new church. I tell him everyday how proud I am of him. When he hits a milestone it's a celebration. When he is close to a breakthrough and I can see it, I encourage him. His family is doing this as well. I feel our not being physically able to see each other may hinder our relationship. I refuse to let him move (I cant or I would) because he needs the stability to grow.

I went back to a series @ Cornerstone called Bringing Sexy Back, in which Shaunti had spoke about her research and books. I was reminded to tell him I am proud and make him feel wanted by me. I am at a loss on that point. We had lived together for 1month last year. It did not go well. He was self-centered, I was stubborn and we had pre-marital sex. We have since put that rule in place and honor the commitment to one another. For now we send kisses through text and via skype.

How do I fulfill his needs like I would in person? I know without a shadow of a doubt this is the man I am to marry. We are spending this time apart to finish our 12steps programs and work on a few other grief and loss issues. Our thinking is that we will put a stop the the generational curses in our families and have better success at raising capable children than our parents.

I guess what I am looking for is any advice available and a 3party perspective to encourage me along the way.

TY~ Goose
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