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Julie Stevens
Posts:3
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| 03/07/2010 1:12 PM |
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I just recently read "For men only" What a relief! Finally here
is a plain-and-simple explanation of all things not-so-plain-and-simple
rattling around inside of me. I didn't know that I was so... normal. What a gift Shaunti and Jeff have been in this respect.
Now that I've read this I want to pass it on to my husband. I even
bought the audio version because he's not a reader. But there's a
problem.
A month before Johnny and I were due to be married, my sister lent me
her copy of "For women only" praising it up and down and saying how big
of a help it would be to me. I'd not gotten very far into it before
Johnny mentioned -during one of his visits- that he had noticed this
book in my room and had flipped through it. He told me that a lot of
that stuff was wrong and didn't apply to him. I stopped reading the book, and haven't
picked it up since.
That being said, I worry that he'll silently refuse my request to
listen to this book, based upon his assumption that it'll just
"generalize" like the other book seemed to do. I'm desperate for him to
know me and how I tick! There are so many little things that he does (or doesn't) that
either drive me to tears when he's not looking, or leave me so
discombobulated I can't function. We've only been married two years,
and I fully intend to see this marriage last. I love him, I just feel
so frustrated.
I've ordered the audio copy of "For women only", but I still harbor
misgivings. Silly as it sounds, what if I get nothing from the book
that truly applies to my husband? What if -in spite of my efforts- I
continue to "get it wrong"? What if -while he grows and learns- I still have nothing new to give? As desperate as I am for him to learn how I work, I'm just
as desperate to know how he works.
So here's my prayer request: That my husband's heart will be softened,
and his ego momentarily put aside long enough to listen to the book in its entirety. That my mind and heart will be given peace in this matter, and that I will have the grace and patience not to ask him whether he's listened to it yet. And, that we will grow closer through this experience.
Thank you so much,
Julie.
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Travis
Posts:41
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| 03/07/2010 3:38 PM |
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I know your not really asking for advice, but I did have one think to say. It'll be short, I promise.
Even though the book isn't For Women only: How YOUR husband or MAN works, it does show you the majority or how men work. Yes, your husband might not be exactly like the men in the book, but I would say that men are all wired the same. We might not act the same as other men in given situations according to who we are, but we still all operate fairly the same.
I'll pray that your husband will receive a revelation from Jesus Christ and that his faith may increase. And I also pray that the Spirit will live out your life, in you.
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~And in the end, The love you take
Is equal to the love you make~ |
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Julie Stevens
Posts:3
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| 03/07/2010 4:46 PM |
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Thank you I appreciate your input, and prayer 
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JoeMS
Posts:41
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| 03/15/2010 7:42 PM |
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Julie, he might be less secure than he seems--as the book says He might not trust that you'll unconditionally respect him if you really knew him. People, especially Christians will talk about the need for unconditional love. Guys will be more willing to reveal themselves if they feel unconditional respect. Shaunti once said on a radio interview with Dr. James Dobson that women want to be loved regardless of whether they have earned it, but they will only respect a guy when he has earned it.
You might want to tell him your motivation for reading the book then ask him to discuss some of the passages. You'll be respectfully and gently asking him to help you better understand him. You'll recall that Shaunti says that is how she got the idea for the book.
Also many introverted guys--including me--need time to carefully express themselves. I think you'll have an opportunity to make a dent in his heart over time as you complement him and are supportive of the healthy things he does. This is corny but the High School quarterback does not stop liking the sound of the cheerleaders after he has gotten married. |
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Julie Stevens
Posts:3
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| 03/16/2010 10:26 PM |
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I have the cheering part down pat At this point in our relationship, I need to do less cheering and more helping! Here's a switch for you: Husband does more work around the apartment than the wife. True, she cooks... but that's about all the energy she feels she has after work. I'm slowly learning to hear him out when he tells me things like "It means more to me when you do some dishes too, than when you thank me for doing the dishes I always do" It's not all him, I know this...Still learning!
Anyway, thank you for that Joe
And an update:
I'm quite sure he's listening/listened to the book. After my plea for him to read it, It was only a week before nice little things -from while we were still dating- started happening again . My FWO has arrived, and I'm looking forward to getting it loaded on to my mp3. We'll see what happens.
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tiff
Posts:1
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| 03/17/2010 3:48 PM |
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| I have read the for women only book and I have tried to incorporate the information that I got. Marriage is very difficult and I want mine to last forever.
I ask for prayer for the strength of my marriage and other Christian women to tell me how to deal with an abusive husband? |
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